This Christmas has been wonderful. We have had our daughters plus partners here, we have had present family and future here and close, we have relaxed and it has not been pressured.

This Christmas has also been sad. It is the second year that our adopted daughter has not been with us and we have not been in close contact with her. I hesitate when I say our ‘adopted’ daughter but having spent many years trying not to distinguish I think it is necessary to clarify. It has been her choice and we have learnt to respect that, hard though it is. After so many years it is very hard to understand that she would choose to be alone rather than sharing Christmas with us, but we know that it is not that simple.

This Christmas we missed my parents with whom we have shared many happy Christmases and our rituals come from them, but they are no longer here to share them with us.

This Christmas has been the celebration of the year that we have shared together and the start of something new as we look forward. It is looking good, but it isn’t always that simple. Sometimes we just need to focus on the simple though.

Next Christmas will be different, it will be the first Christmas where our family home is not the home for one of our daughters. It will mark the start of a new phase. We welcome it. We wonder about our adopted daughter and the place she will be then.